“The Queen of Versailles”- They Do It Because They Can

By Alix Cohen

Unequivocally star of the production, Kristin Chenoweth was the moving force behind this glossy, twelve million dollar disappointment. Having originated Glinda in Stephen Schwartz’s megahit Wicked, she approached the writer about creating a musical based on Lauren Greenfield’s 2012 documentary film, The Queen of Versailles.

Director Michael Arden, fresh off multiple Tony wins for the wonderfully nuanced Maybe Happy Ending must’ve seemed the perfect choice. Unfortunately they, along with book writer Lindsey Ferrentino, with an apparent credo of more is better, seem to have lost the forest for the trees.

The story: Jackie Mallery (Kristin Chenoweth), ex-beauty queen and struggling single mother, marries billionaire David Siegel
(F. Murray Abraham), founder and CEO of Westgate Resorts, a questionable corporate entity selling time shares. He’s 30 years her senior, but seems kind and offers her the world. “Trust Me”, he sings.

When Jackie admires Versailles on their honeymoon, David resolves to build her a ‘copy’ in Orlando, Florida. The 90,000 square foot edifice, one of the largest private homes in America, has been under construction since 2008, with only a brief pause during financial downturn.

One can imagine the reasoning behind framing the musical with Louis XIV’s profligate court, but the novelty is poorly integrated. (Pablo David Laucerica, enacts a splendid, gleeful king). The same can be said for a giant television screen, eventually depicting Jackie’s self-branding. Oddly, cameras and large microphones indicating documentary filming don’t get in the way.

Of 8 children, we meet only Victoria (Nina White). Minors are expensive to cast. She’s a messy, morose, neglected teenager ostracized by the kids at school “Pretty Always Wins” and acting out. Jackie’s oldest would rather return to downsized life like her grandparents, the underused Stephen De Rosa and Isabel Keating- both swell. No one pays enough attention to observe the extent of her misery.

Jackie’s snarky niece, Jonquil (Tatum Grace Hopkins), who actually wasn’t on the scene till much later, is meant to serve as Victoria’s friend or foil, but arrives too underdeveloped to assume either role. David’s right arm/lackey, Gary, (Greg Hildreth), who might’ve offered wry perspective, remains a cipher.

The only secondary character with presence is sympathetic nanny, Sofia (a very fine Melody Butiu), who sends money home to the Philippines but has not, in direct contrast to Jackie, had the chance to watch her daughter grow up.

As to the principals, David Siegel is nothing more than a sketch who gets nasty during economic crisis, then resumes beneficence-with-blinders. Personality and feeling is unexplored.. Abraham sings a single song rather well, but there’s no there there.

Jackie herself remains insatiable no matter what occurs around her. A scene in which she briefly regains proportion and priority while visiting her parents- “Little Houses Have Big Hearts” is among very few indications of feeling rather than depicting events. Later, even tragedy doesn’t derail the brakeless train. We don’t care about the heroine- never a good sign, curious as both Chenoweth and Jackie Siegel signed off on her as written.

A great fan of Schwartz, it pains me to write that neither score nor lyrics are memorable, despite the latter sometimes emerging clever. Several songs with country/western lilt seem curious for an upstate New York girl (Jackie.) The only number relating to those who actually consider themselves American royalty (the theme?) gets lost in the shuffle.

Michael Arden’s subtlety is buried. Saddled with this book, he can only move and pace actors, both of which he does admirably.

Spitfire Kristin Chenoweth must be the hardest working actor on Broadway. Powerful vocals and familiar comic chops try their damndest to buoy the confused piece.

Set Design- (Dane Laffrey) offers well detailed construction-in-progress and an evocative American Versailles ballroom that would make Trump salivate.
Period costumes by Christian Cowan and wigs by Cookie Jordan are just right, though Jackie spends a bit too much time in 15” sequined dresses. Clothes clips at the back of the first one are amusing.

If you don’t listen too closely, maybe then…The piece is alas, underwhelming.

Epilogue: Jackie Siegel is now a wealthy widow. Her philanthropic efforts involve addiction prevention (both Victoria and Jackie’s sister OD’d), pediatric cancer and cancer research (David died of cancer.) She retains ownership of the mansion which is valued at one hundred million dollars and plans to move in.

Photos by Julieta Cervantes

The Queen of Versailles
Music & Lyrics by Stephen Schwartz
Book by Lindsey Ferrentino
Based on Lauren Greenfield’s documentary film, The Queen of Versailles and the life stories of Jackie and David Siegel
Directed by Michael Arden
St. James Theatre 246 W 44th St